I'm only human
by NikkixBlakexGriffin
Summary: Set after episode 1x11/1x12. Bellamy finds the body of Clarke after she was captured by the grounders. This moment makes them both reflect on their relationship and feelings about eachother.


**I'm only Human | Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin**

"Bellamy! Bellamy! You need to come! Now!" Bellamy woke up to people screaming his name vigorously and rushed out of his tent, struggling himself into his shirt.

"What's going on?" he shouted and looked at everyone who was staring at the wall, when he noticed Miller was standing on a box to look above it. Anger filled his veins. How can he protect them, if they just try to kill themselves?

"Miller, you idiot? What the fuck do you think you're doing. Get down. NOW!" Bellamy shouted and stumped towards the guy, who looked like he had just seen a ghost passing by.

"No, Bellamy listen. There is someone outs—" Miller tried to defend his own actions, but Bellamy cut him short, and pushed the boy of the box, with one furious action.

"I don't want to know! If there is something outside the wall you call me and you all stay down! Understood?! If you guys die, then it's my responsibility, and I don't want to have your blood on my hands!" he pointed at the guy, and looked seriously at everyone standing around him.

"Understood!" he called again, but everyone kept staring at him and Miller. What was wrong with these kids today. Bellamy knew that with Clarke gone, he was the only leader there, but that didn't mean they had no chance to survive, do they? Have a little faith kids.

"Bellamy, stop this! There is someone outside the wall, there is a figure laying there, and Miller saw some blonde strands of hair!" Octavia shouted angry en pushed her brother hard into the chest. Bellamy cursed under his breath, and looked with disbelief at his sister.

Clarke…?

"Why didn't you guys say anything, stupids? If it Clarke and she dies, you're all going to have a big problem! You don't even want to know!"

Bellamy was furious and barked orders to everyone to open the gates of the wall. His patience was getting very low when it lasted about 5 minutes to open them. But finally they got them open and Bellamy slipped between the gates rushing towards the body he saw lying against a three.

Shaking he kneeled down at the figure, sprawled over the ground like a rag doll. Immediately, he recognized the small body of Clarke, even under all the blood, bruises and the fact that all her clothes were ripped. Slowly watching out for all the wounds he picked the unconscious girl up and carried her inside the camp. "Close the gates, she was the only one there." He mentioned to everyone, but didn't hesitate a minute to run to the dropship as fast as he could. Watching out for her head, and her wounds, he slowly placed her on one of the metal tables. Octavia, Jasper and Raven came in running, right behind him, screaming and asking what had happened.

"I don't know! Just help me fix her!" he barked at the youngsters.

Bellamy felt a flash of guilt, worry and anger coming over him as he looked at the wounded body of Clarke. Her hair strangled and full with knots, leaves and dirt. She looked like she had been through hell, and he just hoped she survived. Sadness crept up in his body, but he refused to show it. He had to be brave for her, he couldn't break, not now.

"First get her out of these clothes, before she gets hypothermia or infections." He silently said, and carefully started to peel het clothes from her body. The scars underneath them scared him even more, then the overall sight he had gotten from her. Bellamy became speechless, these people were monsters, monsters.

Octavia gasped in shock and started crying slowly. Jasper immediately hugged her and pushed her against his chest. Surprised by Octavia's sudden outburst, I looked at Jasper and gave him a little nod, saying that he had to take her out of here.

"it's going to be okay, Octavia, don't worry. She is going to be alright." He softly spoke, while leading her out of the dropship, so she wouldn't get more hysterical.

Bellamy slowly looked at Raven, who was already cleaning some of the cuts on Clarke's body. Bellamy was disgusted by the sight of her naked body, not because she wasn't beautiful, but because how they obviously tortured her, cracked her like she was just a little toy. He just hoped they hadn't did what he was thinking, the moment he saw all her clothes were ripped. He couldn't stand the thought of someone touching her fragile, little body.

"Why isn't she waking?" he desperately asked Raven, while softly brushing Clarke's hair behind her ear.

"I don't know, but she'll wake when she's ready. We don't know what happened to her, and until we don't know that, I don't want to take rushed decisions. When I'm done just take her to your tent. There she will be safe, cause I know you will protect her with your life. If she wakes come get me or Octavia, and hopefully she tells us the truth if she is hurt somewhere we didn't notice or something. Just be prepared for everything, Bellamy. Be prepared for her getting angry, or mad at you, her shouting or hitting you of being scared of you, I don't say she will do those things but, I repeat we do not know what happened there, we do not know, and as long as she isn't conscious and - Finn isn't back, we won't know. So just let her do whatever she wants when she awakes." Raven spoke softly and took care of the cuts an bruised the best she could, without any further information. When she was ready, Jasper came back inside the drop ship, with some clothes he found, so she could at least wear something. A bra and underwear weren't possible at the moment, but they weren't that dirty so Raven washed them and let them dry in the dropship. It was already a miracle that they had found some clothes that could be used.

"She's good to go I suppose, just be careful" Raven smiled lightly.

"Thank you so much, Raven." He said silently and picked Clarke up bridal style and brought her to his tent, he laid her down on the make shift bed and spread the blanket carefully over her abused body.

"Please, be okay. I'll never forgive myself if you don't wake up" he cried slightly, begging voice, tears streaming down his face, when he gave her a small kiss on her forehead. "Your strong Clarke, You're the strongest princess in the world. Please don't leave me, I can't do this without you. I need you. I can't fight the castle without my princess."

It seemed to be for hours, he had just been sitting there, right next to her vigorously waiting for her to open her, eyes, but that didn't happen. He had never felt so scared to lose someone, that wasn't his family, that wasn't Octavia. It just hit him that he really cared about this girl, and he would not let her go anymore, not anymore. Bur first of all she had to wake up, and with every minute that passed, the certainty he felt a while ago disappeared. What if?

A soft moan woke Bellamy from his deep thoughts and his eyes immediately stared at the girl laying on his bed. "Bellamy?" she softly asked and reached her hand in to the sky, in his direction. Bellamy jumped to his feet, and kneeled down next to her.

"Hey, Clarke you're finally awake. " he smiled and pushed the strands of her hair out of her sight and behind her ear. She just layed there softly smiling, but her eyes showed how far away she was, how she couldn't belief that she was home.

"It's okay now. You're back, You're home, and I'm never ever letting you go out without me as your bodyguard, and that is if you ever get out." he laughed with tears in his eyes and hugged her tightly. He was shocked to feel she hugged him back with a force that almost strangles him, softly snuggling her face into the crock of his neck, sobbing softly. The brave princess was crying in his arms and the rebel leader was crying even more. Who had thought to ever see that happen?

"I'm so happy you're okay" he sobbed and planted a soft kiss on her cheek, letting her go slowly, but when he tried to loosen his grip, she just grabbed him by his shirt and hugged him stronger.

"Don't go Bellamy. Please don't go. I don't want to be alone, I'm so scared. I don't want to feel so alone anymore."

At this moment Clarke was crying hysterically and clamped herself to Bellamy's body, not letting go because he was the only thing that made her feel save.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here, and I'm never ever going to leave you." He smiled through his tears and shifted so Clarke was sitting on his lap, hugging him with a death grip.

"I've been awake for days, leading this people to safety, together with you. I've done everything they wanted me to do, everything they expected from me as a leader. But I can't do it anymore Bellamy. I'm only human, and after what happened, I will never be the same Clarke I was before. They made scares that will never fade, mental and physical scars. But these scars are for life. I've tried Bellamy, I've tried to be a good leader, but I failed. I'm a failure, and I left you alone to lead this camp, while I most likely would have died out there. What sort of leader does that Bellamy? I can't be a human and a leader, I just can't. I can't be perfect. And can't merge the positions in one." Her voice was shaking and tears were dripping on the flesh of Bellamy's neck, cold tears against his warm body. The sight of how she was curled up against him crying, feeling like she was a nothing, made Bellamy so angry and sad at the same time. She was great and she did everything she had to do, even more than that, and still she felt like she had failed everyone.

"Shht, Clarke. Stop it. You're great, you're a great leader and a great human. You're both every moment of the time. A rational, loving, caring, protecting leader, that reflects the person you are so strong and in so much little details, I can't even recognize when you are Clarke the leader, or when you are Clarke the human, the doctor. Clarke is Clakre and Clarke is a beautiful person, a peron I need in my life. Someone without I wouldn't be able te stay here. Someone who inspires me in everything I do and try to do. Bellamy's voice was full of authority, and loving care when he spoke to her, she was intrigued by his words and for the first time she realized something very important.

They needed each other to survive, they care for each other and most important, she loves him. Bellamy was the person she saw before her eyes, every moment she thought she was going to die, whenever she thought the end was near.

Abruptly Bellamy broke the silence surrounding them. "What happened out there?" His soft voice sounded questioning and unsteady, as if he was scared for the answer she would give him.

Clarke looked up at him, eyes shocked and trying the avoid his burning look, tears slipping from her eyes, but she stayed silent.

Bellamy felt uneasy to see her cry and not say anything. He wanted to know what she felt, what had happened to her, he wanted to comfort her. Scare away the demons and nightmares from her conscience and free her from the scars burned in her body. But she kept looking at him with the same look she did minutes ago, frozen in the same place she sat. she hadn't moved or replaced a single nerve of her body.

"Clarke, please talk to me. I can't take to it to see the pain in your eyes, I want to enlighten the pain, but I can't if you shut me out." He pleads and pushed her body closer to his.

"It's okay, Bellamy. I'm okay." She softly smiled and kissed Bellamy's cheek. A moment he believed her, but she thought she had him fooled. But she couldn't disguise the worries showing in her eyes.

" I know you're not okay, Clarke. It's okay not to be. I know what happened there, wasn't nothing, I can imagine what they did, but don't let me hanging here, guessing what those bastards did to you." His voice sounds encouraging in Clarke's ears, his look makes her cry even more.

"I will tell, I will Bellamy. But not today. Don't make me do this now. You are the one picking me after I fall. You build me up, when all around me falls apart. You take the knife out of my heart, sewing the wounds. I care for you Bellamy, I love you. And I know you want to know what happened. But at this moment I just can't. not without crashing when I break down, not without losing myself completely." She cries hard and looks straight into his eyes when she speaks every single word. Her voice, her look, her words fall over him and make him feel so much guilt, for even asking about it. She chewed on her bottom lip and turned her eyes away from him, staring at the fabric of the blanket.

"I'm sorry Clarke. I wasn't thinking, I shouldn't have asked that. I'm so sorry sweety." Even Bellamy couldn't keep his cheeks dry at this moment. He just cared so much for her, for god sake he even loved her. And he wasn't scared to believe and tell her that. Not anymore. Time passes to quick, to keep your mouth shut.

"I love you Clarke. I love you, and I know it might sound unreal, but I really do." She looked up at him, with her eyes so innocent. My hands found her cheeks and my thumb rubbed away the tears of her still wet cheeks. Softly I kissed the tears away, but soon my lips found hers. Kissing them careful and soft, not wanting to scare her away. What happened next, was a surprise for Bellamy. Clarke took him by the collar of his shirt and pushed him closer to her, kissing him strongly as if it was the last time they were going to see each other.

"I love you to, Bellamy" she said before kissing Bellamy again, her lips caressing his. Her tongue against his lips, against his tongue. Fighting for dominance.

They say we are leaders, vigorous and unable to feel. But we are only human, feelings shivering through our bodies, making us close, pushing us away from each other, making us cry, laugh, angry, but also making us aware, let us feel loved. Bellamy was her rock, and she was his. They needed each other, and they were never ever letting each other go, not for the faith of the people, not for the grounders or every other threat on this earth.

Love was what made them leaders, human. Love was what made them care. But love made them human leaders, leading 100 people to freedom and safety, while feeling every emotion coming along the way.

"We are only human, Clarke. But we are humans and leaders together."


End file.
